Monday, December 5, 2022

Empty Spaces

A few months back, I mentioned how the little bougainvillea tree my husband and I planted at our new house survived Hurricane Ian. She bent and bowed and lost all her flowers and leaves, but still held on. Once the storm was over, we straightened and re-staked her. We looked for buds but didn't see any. We fertilized and watered her. We checked for new growth. We spoke to local experts. Ultimately, we had to face the fact our little bougainvillea tree was gone.   

 

I know I'm being a giant, sappy, silly goose. The world has so much worse going on, and here I am, all emotional about a tree. It's just she felt symbolic – of our new home, a new chapter in our lives, hope, brightness, and strength during storms. And now, that space in the front yard just feels . . . empty.

 

That's kind of how I feel as this year winds down. While I am incredibly grateful for so much, I've struggled a lot – with physical/mental/emotional health, with focus, with energy, with creativity and writing.   

 

But as an optimistic realist . . . or a realistic optimist . . . or just a plain stubborn fool, I keep going, keep trying. 

 

Maybe I'll go ahead and let that space just be for awhile, let it fill itself with whatever it needs – breath, peace, sun, wind. Or maybe I'll put a container garden there, one full of fun purple flowers or funky prickly cacti. Or maybe a garden gnome . . . or two . . . or three. 

 

All of us here at The Shellshank Redemption hope your new year provides the space and time to breathe when you need it, 

the stakes to support you when you bend, 

and positive growth full of beauty and brightness. 

 

*** Happy Holidays! *** 


*** See you in 2023! ***

18 comments:

  1. Sorry you lost the tree. Come spring, plant something new and exciting there.
    Merry Christmas!

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  2. It's always sad to lose a tree. And sometimes I'm surprised when they pop back even though they look dead. If you like figs, try a fig bush. They're big and tough, and give you food to boot.

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    1. We were so excited to see that our little tree had made it through all that wind and rain, but in reality, she probably hadn't actually made it.

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  3. I hope you find something cool to plant to replace the tree. And I hope you stay optimistic and keep trying. Happy Holidays!

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  4. I'm sorry about your tree. Winds blow us and knock us down, but as long as we keep looking forward, our new gardens will grow. Merry Christmas Madeline.

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  5. I understand the disappointment of losing a tree. We'd bought two apple trees for our back yard and planted them with our kids, because my daughter loves apples. The same year, a cold snap killed one of our trees, so we only have one now and nothing to cross pollinate with. This next year, we hope to plant a new one, but it was disheartening losing the one.

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    1. I absolutely understand why that was disheartening, Loni. I hope the kids weren't too upset by it? Hopefully the new one will grow strong and sturdy!

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  6. Thank you for sharing your tree with us. I understand why that's so hard. When my parents moved away from my childhood home, my favorite climbing tree fell in a storm, and it all felt so final - as if I had been booted from the nest. Trees can be beloved, too. Wishing you all the best of the best, and all the sense of home and happiness for Christmas, 2023, and beyond!

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    1. Yes, Tyrean! Thank you. I was afraid people wouldn't get it, but so many of you do, and I really appreciate that.

      Thank you, too, for those lovely wishes! And the same to you, of course. :)

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  7. Losing a tree is always sad. Wishing you a very happy holidays in advance and Merry Christmas.

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  8. That's a sad story but you finish on the upswing like you usually do. Hope the season and 2023 bring you all you wish for.

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    1. I always try to have some hope, some light in my posts and in my stories (although that's sometimes harder to do.) I do it not only for my readers, but also for myself. :)

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  9. It's not at all surprising the loss of your tree has affected you - there's a lot going on. Definitely fill the space with something, and may your 2023 be merry and bright and all things good x

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    1. Thank you, Annalisa! We put a sort of sand dollar statue type thing in the space for the moment. Not sure if twill stay there permanently, but it feels good there. :)

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