I came across the following in a magazine awhile back and it about blew my mind. I hate to admit it, but I am so guilty of this:
"WAS IT A BAD DAY
OR
WAS IT A BAD FIVE MINUTES
THAT YOU MILKED ALL DAY?'
(-sdevanny1)
Now, whenever I catch myself in a bad mood, I stop and ask myself that question.
Sometimes the answer is "Yes, it was a bad day, and chocolate better be forthcoming." (That's when my poor husband wishes he had a shell like the tortoises!)
But most times the answer is, "No, it was a moment of aggravation, of annoyance, of frustration that I let get under my skin." Once I realize that, it's like all the little dust bunnies of gloom scatter, and I can see all the shiny surfaces of my life - all the big things I am grateful for, like my husband, our health, our home - as well as the smaller moments of joy and peace I experience throughout the day - reading a good book while drinking hot coffee, watching the tortoises doze happily under their heat lamp.
Sure, we all have bad days, but maybe we don't have as many as we think we do.
*****
How about you? Are you guilty of milking those five minutes, too? Will you try asking - and answering - the question? Have any other suggestions for gaining some perspective? How do you focus on gratitude instead of a negative attitude?
That's usually what happens. Often just a crappy drive home behind really slow drivers. Usually I recognize that now though.
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you recoganize that now, Alex. It took me awhile. And some people still don't.
DeleteThat's a great question. As I get older, I'm less likely to let bad moments linger, but they used to! I guess I gained perspective by ageing :-) (And now I feel old, which means I'm having a bad moment hehehe)
ReplyDeleteOnly a bad moment, not a bad day! :)
DeleteI was finding myself getting crankier, letting more of those bad moment linger as I got older. I'm working on changing that though!
That is so true! I never thought about it that way, but it will definitely make me give it a second thought before I blame a whole day.
ReplyDeleteOnce I started thinking like that, it really did help me take a step back and see the big picture.
DeleteOh yeah, I'm guilty of that sometimes. Okay, probably more often than I care to admit.
ReplyDeleteRecognizing that fact then doing something about it is key! :)
DeleteThat's a great way of looking at a bad day. I can use that method the next time I'm tempted to focus on the negative and recognize it as just a small part of my day.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think back to all the times I let one or two small, negative moments make me think I had an actual bad day, it makes me cringe. No more! :)
DeleteGreat question and I'm so glad you shared it. I never thought about it, but I have a feeling I'm guilty of milking more often than not. Something to keep in mind when I start having a bad day.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of us are guilty of milking those five minutes. And really, once I started asking the question, I felt better about days I think in the past I would've written off as bad.
DeleteI love that quote. I used to do that, hold onto a bad moment all day. I don't know how I learned to let things go and move on to the next five minutes. It really takes a lot of stress out of life to just stop being upset and angry.
ReplyDeleteGreat point, Susan, about life being less stressful once we learn how to let go of those bad five minutes. It's freeing! :)
DeleteA bad five minutes. That's how it always is with me. I hold onto things too much, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI did the same thing, but I'm getting better at letting things go, gaining some perspective. You can do it, Chrys!
DeleteYep, guilty as charged.
ReplyDeleteYou are so not alone, Tamara.
DeleteThat's a good question, for sure. I think it's easy to give ourselves an excuse, something to blame if we haven't got much done. I'll remember it!
ReplyDeleteIt really can be an excuse! Kind of like having one bite of chocolate cake then figuring the diet is ruined so might as well eat the whole thing. :)
DeleteThat's a great point. I think if I come home from work and tell my husband a million terrible stories, rather than just one, it was probably a bad day. But sometimes just that one bad moment can stay with you and keep you in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
ReplyDeleteThere are definitely actual bad days, when nothing goes right, etc. Believe me, I've had them. When I look back, though, I realize I probably didn't have as many as I think I did. :)
DeleteThat's a good question. Usually if I'm having a bad day, I stop milking it after a nap. I adult well. ;)
ReplyDeleteAh, nothing like a good nap! :)
DeleteI think this transfers to broken relationships as well. Some of us, me, hang on to words that should have faded away over time. I sometimes have to chant--get over it--to let it go. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from elements of emaginette
Good point, Anna!
DeleteChocolate definitely makes the world go rounder on days that are blah.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm feeling particularly creative, sometimes I milk those bad five minutes into story ideas.
Sometimes bad moods or bad days get me to write more, write better. Other times, though it's all about the chocolate and binge-watching. :)
DeleteI have a bad habit of replaying conversations (or anticipating and practicing conversations) way beyond the time appropriate. And it happens a lot in the middle of the night. If I could only just let things go, I'd suffer a lot less stress (and sleep better).
ReplyDeleteI have those "rehearsals," too - if she says this, I'll say this, etc. I'm getting better at reminding myself that I'm wasting time - and sleep! - worrying about something that might not even happen! And if it does, what are the chances I'll remember what I wanted to say anyway? :)
DeleteExcellent reminder! I always try to remind myself that there are people who would gladly trade me troubles. I'm pretty blessed, no need to whine.
ReplyDeleteToo blessed to be stressed, right? :)
DeleteI love this!
ReplyDeleteGood!
Delete