A Curmudgeon on Caffeine

Here in the trenches of NaNoWriMo, I'm a little busy trying to figure out a couple of things, like why a secondary character has suddenly decided she'd like to be the antagonist (I mean, seriously?!) and how many cups of coffee can I drink before I start acting like Kramer from Seinfeld.

So, as you can see, my mind is not very focused on marketing or social media at the moment. But when I saw this quote in Writer's Digest (Nov/Dec 2017), I chuckled - okay, so it was more like caffeine-tinged-maniacal laughter - because not only is it an excellent strategy for social media but also for life in general.

"EVEN IF YOU ARE A NATURALLY CRANKY,

SNARKY, SOUR-TEMPERED PAIN IN THE ASS,

FOR GOD'S SAKE,  SHARE THAT 

WITH YOUR THERAPIST OR PRIEST. 

WHEN YOU GO ONLINE TO PROMOTE YOURSELF

AND THEREFORE YOUR PRODUCTS,

TRY NOT TO ACTUALLY SCARE

PEOPLE OFF YOUR LAWN."

(Jonathan Maberry)

As someone who, in real life, straddles the line between pleasantly polite yet keeps-to-herself and curmudgeonly crazy lady who peers through the blinds absolutely certain those kids on tricycles are up to no good, I really hope I'm at least keeping my digital lawn welcoming and well-tended.

*****

Are you running on caffeine right about now? Is your digital lawn full of weeds? How about your real lawn? Do you chase kids off your property or do you join them in a rousing game of hide-n-seek?

This Certainly Looks Like A Lot Of Words

The title of this post comes from an episode of Seinfeld, and it's one of my favorite J. Peterman moments -

And it pretty much explains my November. I moved though National Novel Writing Month mostly slow and steady, like a tortoise. Occasionally, I wrote fast and furious, like a tortoise attacking a basil plant (I'm looking at you, Larry!) I ended up with a "win" and a pretty solid draft. I have a beginning, a middle, and an end - something I haven't achieved during my last few NaNo attempts. I actually have a story.

Speaking of words and stories, I don't know about you, but I love to get and to give books as gifts. Maria Zannini has A Gift Guide for The Reader over on her blog. (You might recognize one or two of the authors listed!)

So, here we are at the beginning of December. If you started a project - a story, a novel, revisions, classes, an art project, a goal of some sort - way back in the beginning of November, you now have something that did not exist before. You created something new, and that is awesome! You won, too! 🏆

Happy December, everyone!

Where's Bookman When You Need Him?

The other day, I was reading a library book and a few pages in, I saw that someone had taken a pencil and crossed out the word "was" and wrote in the word "were" in one of the sentences. 

Now, maybe this person was right, I don't know. Grammar is not my strong suit. What bothered me is that this correction made me stop and read the sentence again. It took me out of the story. Some person - not the author - decided to "fix" what was maybe a problem, and ended up causing a bigger issue for me the reader. 

I've wanted to fix things in books. For me, it's more about typos. You know, where the word is "if" and it should clearly be "of," that kind of thing. But I've never done that. Partly it's because I harbor a fear of marking up a library book (anyone else remember that "Seinfeld" episode with Bookman, the library cop?) But it's also because I don't want to do something that will take another reader out of the story. I "fix" the typo in my mind, and I figure other readers will do the same.

This is all just my opinion, of course, and maybe some of you appreciate someone fixing the typo for you, or someone correcting grammar mistakes in your library or used books. But here's what bothered me the most - a few pages later, this same person underlined basically an entire sentence about a character seeing herself reflected in another character's eyes, and then wrote "doubtful" in the margin. I mean, really. Was that necessary? Sheesh. 

Where's Bookman when you need him?

Motivational Monday!

The older I get, the more I find myself quoting "Seinfeld."  I used to worry about this until I read agent Nathan Bransford's post, "Writers, Authority, and The Keith Hernandez Rule."  Not only did it make me feel better to see someone cool and hip and groovy reference "Seinfeld," but the post also made me laugh out loud.  Oh, and it taught me something about writing, too.  

Congratulations go out to Stacy Post, whose story will be up at Smories this September.  This is the site where cute kids read the stories out loud.  I can't wait to hear it!

Editor Robert Swartwood announced that the Gotham Writers Workshop has a Hint Fiction writing contest going this fall - check it out if you're interested in trying your hand at some hint.  Oh, and the special Hint Fiction issue of Wigleaf  is out - Swartwood called it "a literary appetizer of sorts."  (I can't wait for the Hint Fiction anthology - and not just because I'm in it.  I mean it.  Really.)   

Now go forth and write!  And read!  And laugh!  And eat some chocolate!  And write some more!  And...