Wednesday, February 1, 2017

IWSG: Patience, Grasshopper


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I'm revising my NaNo 2016 novel, a story I've worked with on and off for years. My progress is moving along at the speed of a tortoise. And not a tortoise on their way to eat a banana. 

I'm taking more time, diving more deeply into my story's plot, logic. This is unusual for me. I'm more apt to go splashing around in the shallow end, where, like my manuscript, we're having fun but going nowhere. 

So, with all this work, I do think the story will be better for it, but I tell you, I am struggling with patience. I feel like everyone around me is moving forward, taking on new projects, getting agents, being published, winning awards, succeeding - in writing and in life. It's not so much jealousy of others as it is frustration with myself. Why does everything I do seem to take so long? What am I doing wrong? I don't want to plod along, but I also don't want to rush. I'm struggling to find my pace . . . and my patience. 

How do you all stay patient when it feels like the world is rushing by, when it feels like everyone is succeeding, leaving you behind? Or is this just me? Is it a matter of just gritting my teeth, putting my head down and getting back to work? Is there a kinder, gentler way to deal with that frustration? 

68 comments:

  1. I wish I had some good advice but patience is not something I have ever had. I hope you can keep your eye on the prize though when you start feeling frustrated - you know in the end you will have an amazing story as a result of your efforts now!

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    1. I think keeping my eyes on the prize is going to be the trick. Fingers crossed!

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  2. I was the very same way. It just takes time to find your rhythm, but it'll come.

    The best thing I ever did was to stop comparing myself to others. They're not me and I'm not them. No two careers are the same.

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    1. I try, Maria! I'm usually pretty good at not comparing myself to others etc, but sometimes I lose focus and that familiar frustration sets in.

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  3. Someone was telling me about gopher tortoises (I think that's what they're called) last night and I thought of you :-) I can relate - I feel like I'm getting nowhere too on my novel. Embrace your inner tortoise. It's all part of the journey. Cheers - Ellen

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    1. It's nice to be thought of. :)

      Maybe we should all embrace our inner tortoises. It might be a slow journey but we'll get there. Eventually.

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  4. I've been struggling with the same outline for a year. You're way ahead of me. And your story will be better for all that extra effort.

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    1. I'm not even going to tell you how old this manuscript is, it's too embarrassing. But I just can't let the story go....

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  5. Hi Madeline, I am going to give you a big hug, because you are undergoing the same emotions as me. Will a virtual hug do? My writing is so slow that I feel a tortoise will beat me if it starts writing a novel. I am going to kick this slow writing phase in the butt now.

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    1. Sending a virtual hug right back at you!

      I can't help but laugh at the image of the tortoises sitting at mini laptops, typing away. :)

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  6. And here's where we have to realize that everyone is an individual. No two journeys are the same. We can't see the whole picture of another person's backstory, and to compare ourselves to others in any form is just silly. Each person is beautiful in their own respect. They've overcome challenges that may leave us in awe, or severely underwhelmed, but they were their challenges. The only story we can compare ourselves to is our own. =)

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    1. I agree with - and love! - the idea of each of us being on our own journey. It's just hard sometimes when it seems like my road trip has stalled on the side of the road with four flat tires. Sigh.

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  7. I often feel the same way about the world rushing by me. I have a lot of patience with other people, but not myself. Thankfully I have great CPs to keep me in line! Good luck. Moving slowly is still moving forward. You can do this. :)

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    1. I have more patience with other people, too. Not much more maybe, but definitely more than with myself. We really do need to be nicer to ourselves! :)

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  8. Don't compare yourself to others - that almost always sends my confidence spiraling downward. Embrace the turtle. Head down and keep moving forward, no matter how slow the pace. Forward is progress, and you know you're right by your story.

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    1. The tortoises aren't all that into being embraced, although they do enjoy a good head and/or shell rub. :)

      I keep telling myself that I'm doing right by my novel by taking it slow and steady.

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  9. I'm a tortuously slow writer, too. It's inconceivable to me that writers like Stuart Woods churn out three books every year.

    But you know what? Even though writers are, in a sense, on the same team, the reality is, this is a solitary pursuit. You aren't competing with other writers; you're competing with yourself, and your end goal isn't how quickly you finish a book, but how well you write it. You're striving to improve your skills, not trying to set a speed record. So give yourself a break, and enjoy the process... YOUR process.

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    1. I love the reminder that the end goal is not how quickly I finish it, but how well I write it. Giving myself a break does not come easy to me, but I will try. :)

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  10. I am very impatient, so I understand this all too well. I am still trying to publish a book that I wrote many years ago and have rewritten several times.

    Good luck!

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    1. I also struggle with knowing when to let go of a project, and not hanging on to it because of perfectionist tendencies.

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  11. Everyone has their own pace. I always look at George RR Martin who is molasses in winter slow.

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    1. Ah, but the end result is so worth it! In his case, anyway. In my case? Hmm, not so sure... :)

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  12. "Why does everything I do seem to take so long? What am I doing wrong?" <---Two questions with which I am painfully familiar. And answerless. You're definitely not alone there.

    But I have no doubt that you'll find that right pace soon enough.

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    1. You will, too, MJ. No doubt. And feel free to come back here to the comments for answers and for all the wonderful camaraderie, support and encouragement. :)

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  13. If it's any consolation, I'm right there too. I'm three years behind where I want to be. But we just gotta keep plugging away at it, right? We'll get there, so long as we stay strong and steady with it.

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    1. I have long since stopped counting how many years I'm behind in anything. Too depressing. But we'll keep going, right? Strong and steady, like two tortoises I know. :)

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  14. Oh yes. I know the feeling. I feel like I'm 2 years behind all of you:) It is so hard to stay focused on your own projects. But you have to do whatever it takes to keep your focus on your own efforts. Trust me, I drove myself mad trying to live up to others expectations. Please yourself first, and if you can do that, you are golden. I'm jealous of you;) Keep up your good work.

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    1. I will keep up my good work if you keep up yours. :)

      And no jealousy! That doesn't do any of us any good.

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  15. I have to get off the crazy merry go round of marketing and social media and everything else that wrecks my writing experience and makes me feel like I'm behind other writers. Just do what you love...write.
    Danger, Love, and Mystery

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    1. I've written a few posts lately about social media and how I thought I needed to expand my online presence. Ultimately, I decided to just keep going with my blog and do a little more over on Goodreads. That's enough for me. :)

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  16. Oh I feel ya there! I always feel like I'm moving at tortoise speed while everyone else passes me by. Probably not true, of course, but it feels that way. I just tell myself that any work I get done now I won't have to do later. To get overwhelmed and give up means I won't have accomplished anything at all a month from now, so I just need to keep plugging along. 😊 Great post!

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    1. Love this! - "To get overwhelmed and give up means I won't have accomplished anything at all a month from now, so I just need to keep plugging along." So true! :)

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  17. Oh wow, I've always felt that way, wondering why other authors get so much done and I can't seem to to finish anything (actually, my blog post today is kind of about that.) But I do think some things take time. You don't really want to rush a story if you need to take the time to get it just right.

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    1. I totally agree about not rushing a story. Sometimes, though, it feels like for every story I write, someone else writes three, publishes five, gets an agent, wins an award for their novel. Sigh.

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  18. I'm speedy and then I'm slow - it all depends on the day, week, or month. I get super frustrated with not "getting there" yet - meaning successfully making at least part-time wages from my writing. My writing is a joy and yet it is full of mistakes all the time - I'm not sure that's going to change, so that's when I write something short, silly or fun, then go back to my current WIP with a lighter heart.
    You can do this, Madeline! :)

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    1. I like the idea of going back to the WiP with a lighter heart. Hmm, maybe I need to take a few more small breaks now and then, fill the creative well a bit.

      Thanks, Tyrean. :)

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  19. I think you work at the pace you feel most comfortable with. But don't feel frustrated with yourself; as long as you're working toward you're goal, you're accomplishing.

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  20. I get that feeling a lot. Especially when I have a year between releases. I swear my lot in life is to publish every two years. x_x

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    1. I don't have that issue with my stories. I"m pretty good at getting them out into the world. But novels? It's been like, um, never, since I've had one of those out. Sigh.

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  21. I know the feeling that everyone is doing better. I think many of us fudge it. If you look at my blog, there are always some announcements, a new short story published, or it seems. But really, I have written so little last year. I feel that everyone is chugging ahead, producing novel after novel, and I stay behind with my measly short stories and wave at the leaving train wistfully.

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    1. Thank you for that reminder! I think I've heard it called "fear of missing out - fomo" or something like that.

      And I am so with you regarding stories and novels. I love writing stories, but I want to write novels, too. I want to do everything! :)

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  22. I get that feeling too sometimes. What I'm trying to do - I'm not saying I've been wholly successful - is to use those feelings of being left behind to push me forward, to work at the bits I don't like doing but without which the WIP remains stalled, incomplete. Good luck. Some days are worse than others so I hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Those "left behind" feelings can be tricky. If we use them correctly, they can be great at propelling us forward, but if we're not careful, they can also be dangerous and drag us down.

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  23. I feel like this often. I guess it means we have goals? Places we want to be. And as long as we keep moving toward those goals, no matter our pace, we're achieving something.

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    1. Hmm, I wonder if life would be easier, simpler, calmer if we didn't have goals? Just kind of going along, la la la....

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  24. It seems I'm a plodder too so I totally understand where you are coming from. Putting that extra work into the book, however, will definitely make a big difference.

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    1. I plod in my writing, I plod in my running. What would it be like to be a swift and graceful creature?!

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  25. Oranges and bananas. Never compare yourself to anyone else. We are all different and we should treasure this. That said, there is no way around it. All writing takes time and patience. You'll get there. :-)

    Anna from elements of emaginette

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    1. Thanks, Anna.

      Am I an orange or a banana? I'm thinking more coconut.... :)

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  26. Madeline, I was up in the middle of the night drinking Sleepytime Extra tea so I could finally get to sleep. After these crazy days, I can't shut down my busy brain at bedtime.

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    1. I can't remember the last time I had a good night's sleep! I might need to try some of that tea....

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  27. It's definitely not just you. I keep looking around wondering where the time went, and asking myself why? Why didn't I submit something to that contest? Why didn't I finish that novella and self-publish it? Why didn't I keep up with that career blogging class?

    I calm down by reminding myself that there really is no limit. As long as I'm doing my best, and still working hard, it doesn't need to get done fast. People aren't going to suddenly stop reading books tomorrow. Amazon and KDP and every online publisher is not going to go belly up for no reason. I take a deep breath and remind myself, all in good time.
    smpace.com/login

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    1. Looking back at all the missed opportunities doesn't do us much good, unless we use it to spur ourselves on. But even that can start to feel like too much pressure. I think I need to start taking more deep breaths. :)

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  28. My last manuscript, the beta reader told me I needed a better first line. It took me an entire day to write it. A whole day. Then another day to edit it. I'm slow too. I suppose we'll just have to be okay with who we are, because when I go fast, it's just a mess.

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    1. I bet the first line turned out awesome. :)

      I can sometimes get a story idea down fast and furious. But I would never send it out as is. It needs time. It needs a slow and steady hand to edit, to revise, to polish.

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  29. I am definitely a tortoise type of writer. I find having an external deadline helps, even if I'm promising a draft to my critique group. Somehow having an obligation to someone else helps me.

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    1. I do much better with deadlines, too. It's better of they're external ones, though. I can usually talk myself into an extension. :)

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  30. I feel that way too. I keep thinking watching others I should be so much further than I am.

    Happy IWSG Day!
    Juneta @ Writer's Gambit

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    1. I think the trick to watching others is to see how and why they're succeeding and use that to help us tweak our own goals and processes, not bring us down.

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  31. I'm still an aspiring author that hasn't even published anything yet so I THINK I may understand your frustration :(

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    1. Ah, but we can all keep dreaming, keep striving, keep learning. :)

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  32. Being slow is never a problem. Feeling like a failure is. Start by reminding yourself that you're worthy. Tell yourself every single morning, "My life is wonderful and I'm right where I'm suppose to be." I promise, Madeline, is you say that every morning, your life will turn into something beautiful because your spirit will have already reached it.

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    1. I love your comment so much, Joylene! I am totally going to try it. Thank you! :)

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  33. I'm that tortoise plodding alongside you...didn't you see me waving?
    I'm a very fast reader BUT a slow writer. I wish I could swop the two. *sighs*
    But I'll get there, all in good time. So will you.

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    1. Oh, now I see you! *waves* :)

      I hear you re swapping the reading and the writing speeds. If only. Sigh.

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  34. I totally hear you and feel you on this one, Madeline! When I need to console myself on these matters, I tell myself that each person has a different timeline on when they complete a book. Just because we're "behind" doesn't mean that our writing isn't good, it just means that we're marching to the beat of our own keyboards.

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    1. Love the idea of "marching to the beat of our own keyboards." Such a great image! :)

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