The basic premise is that by not letting others dump their "garbage" (negativity, fear, etc) on us, we can be better, happier people. Some words from the book jacket:
* Avoid getting dumped on by rude, thoughtless, and angry people
* Stop reliving the negative in your past, and fearing the future
* Focus on what you can control, not the negative things you can't
* Gain the courage to enjoy every day, do what you love, and make a difference
Two quizzes really opened my eyes to how I was living my life and how I was letting others influence me. I try very hard not to burden others with negativity and drama, so I was pleased when I got a good score - "dump a light load" - on "Are You a Garbage Dumper?" However, I was shocked to see the "heavy load" of garbage I accept in my life on "Are You a Garbage Accepter?" - "Almost every day you are set back by the negative behavior of others and bothered by the things you can't control. You let too many Garbage Trucks dump on you, and you create too much of your own garbage." Whoa!
So, I'm trying to do better, be better, with all of that. And I think it's working, too, at least most days. I definitely recommend this book, especially if you're anything like me - soaking up way too much garbage, whether that of others or of your own making.
* I received nothing in exchange for this mini review/recommendation. I enjoyed the book, learned from it, and wanted to share it. *
Now you know! At least you weren't dishing it out.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely makes me feel better to know I wasn't dumping too much garbage on other people. Will have to keep that up! :)
DeleteI figure I'd score high on the garbage receptacle score. It is an intriguing concept for a book. No wonder it grabbed your eye.
ReplyDeleteI figured I would, too, but I was still surprised by how high.
DeleteA few years ago, I let go of people who were toxic. I didn't and still don't feel bad about my decision.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I'm still trying. Part of my problem is that sometimes I'm the one bringing in the toxicity! :o
DeleteI like the analogy of the garbage truck. We definitely have to try to let go of stuff we really don't need in our life.
ReplyDeletePart if it, too, is not letting things get dumped in us in the first place - if we're not able to avoid it, then we need to get out from under ASAP.
DeletePerfect analogy. I've gotten much better at letting go of things I can't control. And though I think I'm a good listener, I also don't get sucked into others' drama. I might need to buy this book for my daughter.
ReplyDeleteThere's a part in the book where Pollay talks about the idea of sharing problems vs venting vs having permission to vent. It sounds like you're already doing good! :)
DeleteThat sounds really cool. I should get it for my mom. lol She's always stressing over other people's issues on top of her own.
ReplyDeleteGive it a shot - it might be helpful for her.
DeleteGreat post and the timing is perfect - I'm trying to crawl out of the negative past.
ReplyDeleteYou can do it, Noelle! Remember, there are a number of us trying, too - you're not alone. :)
DeleteI was a garbage acceptor in earlier stages of my life. As I get older, I have less patience for people like that. Sometimes I get frustrated when I think about the time I wasted. But the silver lining is that I am able to better appreciate the kind, drama-free people around me now.
ReplyDeleteThat wasted time kills me! But I'm going to start focusing on the silver lining you mentioned. :)
DeleteI agree that sometimes we tend to accept a lot of garbage from people: negative emotions, comments and even their surly attitude affects us. I am in the midst of crawling away from all this negativity.
ReplyDeleteYou're crawling now but soon you'll be up and standing tall. :)
DeleteThis sounds like a great book! I mostly deal with any drama I have by email, since I work from home now...but I definitely could learn to let things go quicker than I do now.
ReplyDeletePollay talks about the how letting things go means you still have to process the garbage, using energy etc. Better to let it pass you by than to take absorb it in the first place. I'm still working on that. :)
DeleteOh, it takes forever to learn the fine art of dealing with garbage, Madeline! But I think a good first step is recognizing it when we see (feel) it. Then we can choose how we're going to react. (Lincoln could've made a fortune back in the day if he'd written a book on his quote, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.") :-)
ReplyDeleteGood comment, Cathy! :)
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