IF YOU HAVE ANY YOUNG FRIENDS WHO ASPIRE TO BECOME WRITERS, THE SECOND GREATEST FAVOR YOU CAN DO THEM IS TO PRESENT THEM WITH COPIES OF THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE.
THE FIRST GREATEST, OF COURSE,
IS TO SHOOT THEM NOW, WHILE THEY'RE HAPPY.
(Dorothy Parker)
When I was kid, lots of people encouraged my writing. Teachers gave me As, friends wanted to act out the stories I wrote, and family members patted me on the back.
As I got older, a lot of that support faded. Reality stepped in. An artist friend and I joked we'd put our refrigerator boxes together, start a starving artists condo complex. Teachers and family members told me I couldn't make a living at writing.
Today, most of those people show little interest in my writing. It's rare that they ask how the novel's going or tell me if they enjoyed the last published story. Of course, this isn't everyone, but when a lot of the people who used to be supportive and encouraging stop, it's a big blow to your confidence, to your faith in yourself and your abilities.
Have I proved them wrong? Not in the way I thought I would. They were right in the sense that I don't make much money - if any - from my writing. And it's been a hard trek, full of holes and bumps that maybe wouldn't have been there if I'd listened.
But I proved to myself that I can live a life of my choosing. It would be wonderful to have their interest and support and encouragement again, but I no longer need it. I found those things in myself. I found them in other places and in other people, like my husband and all of you out there who read my posts and stories and who take the time to comment and email.
So, if a young - or older! - person wanted my thoughts on a writing life, I'd encourage them, in a realistic way, by sharing the pros and the cons. I'd point out options and opportunities. I'd say that if writing is truly important to them, if it's a part of who they are, then they'll find a way to write, whether it's as a full-time freelancer, a part-time novelist or a poetry penner during lunch breaks. If you're truly a writer, you will write.
Do you have any young people - or anyone! - in your life who want to be writers? What would you tell them?
I thought my son would be into writing, but it turns out it was just a phase and drawing seems to be more important now. Both Hubby and I are creative, so I could never tell my son his dreams aren't worth pursuing. In fact I've told him now is the perfect age to dream big and do all he can to reach for those dreams.
ReplyDeleteWe're such cool parents lol!!!
Hahaha! Great quote.
ReplyDeleteI'd tell budding writers to work on thickening their skin, LOL!
You've discovered the secret - you'd like their encouragement, but you don't need it, because the real motivation must come from within you.
ReplyDeleteI'd tell young writers do it because you enjoy it and all else is gravy.
Annalisa - you sound like cool parents! :) I think the trick is finding a way to marry the dreams to the reality, not totally abandoning one for the other.
ReplyDeleteLB - definitely! Although, writers also need to be sensitive so I'm not exactly sure how to make that work. :)
Alex - I just wish I'd learned the secret a lot sooner and saved myself some heartache.
I don't know any young writers, but I agree that I would encourage them to go for it and do what works for them. I've never understood how some people can try to discourage another person's dreams. My nephew has wanted to be a rock singer since he was little, and he had lots of teachers and others telling him it was silly and impossible. But now he's in a successful band touring the world and living his dream. I'm glad he didn't listen to the naysayers! I think I would tell writers never to listen to anyone who says "you can't do that." If it's important to you, you can.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this great quote, Madeline. It made me chuckle LOL.
Julie - I love that story about your nephew! Good for him! I don't know why some people feel the need to discourage others' dreams. I think it sometimes comes from a place of fear and worry and concern, and I understand that, to a point. But saying "let's see if we can find a way to make that happen" is way better than "no, you can't."
ReplyDeletei do! i should tell them! better than alternative =)
ReplyDeleteTara - ha! :)
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