WE CANNOT ALL DO GREAT THINGS,
BUT WE CAN DO SMALL THINGS
WITH GREAT LOVE.
(Mother Teresa)
I tend to beat myself up for not being a nicer person, a kinder person. I'm not as patient or as nurturing as other people I know. I'm also pretty selfish more often than not.
But this quote makes me wonder if that's all okay, if I'm okay. Don't get me wrong - I'm not giving myself permission to walk around all mean or all "me me me." I'm not giving myself permission to stop trying to be the best me I can. No. It's just that there are always going to be people who are "better" than me at certain things, whose strengths are different than my own. When I try to do what they do, to be as good a human being as they are, my heart often fills with bitterness and resentment. And that's no good for anybody.
Maybe, instead of berating myself for my failures, I'll focus on the "small things" I do well, on the "small things" I can do with an open and loving heart.
I've always loved that quote from Mother Teresa. It reminds me too that she's important not because she did great things, but because of her small kindnesses and unconditional love. She stands on the same level as giants.
ReplyDeleteI love your line about her standing on the same level as giants.
DeleteThis is a great lesson, Madeline! I'm also an impatient person and I often feel that I have to do bigger, better things, but the smaller things count just as much. :)
ReplyDeleteI think the small things add up but a lot of people probably just don't notice.
DeleteI pray to be a better person because I know I could be better in all my roles as mother, wife, daughter, friend citizen of the world. But I also accept that I'm not perfect. Your advice is excellent.
ReplyDeleteNow if only I would listen to myself more often than I do.... Sigh.
DeleteYes, focus on what you contribute and what you excel at. All those small things add up.
ReplyDeleteIt just feels like sometimes what I "excel" at isn't all that important.
DeleteI think the small things can mean the most. Some days, it's someone telling me my hair look nice in a grocery store line is exactly what I needed to pull myself out of a self-loathing slump.
ReplyDelete*I have to disagree that you're not a kind enough person. Most unkind people I know, think nothing is wrong with them at all. Only a kind person would even worry about it.
Thank you, Elizabeth. I appreciate that.
DeleteAnd it's funny because when I'm the recipient of one of those "small things" - a compliment, someone holding the door for me, etc - it often does mean a lot to me.
I was actually just thinking about how I'm not a very nice person...
ReplyDeleteFocusing on the small things sounds like an excellent idea. I should try that myself.
Try not to go any farther down that road, MJ....
DeleteMaybe if enough of us work the small things, it'll add up to even more, to even bigger things.
You have a similar assessment of yourself as I do of me--I blame being an only child. Thinking of others isn't my first instinct. I care a lot, but it just isn't the most natural way to process. I like this quote, too. Helps keep it all in perspective a bit.
ReplyDeleteI like your phrase about it not being "the most natural way to process."
DeleteSo true.
ReplyDeleteAnd all those small things add up.
I hope so!
DeleteThat sounds like a great attitude to have. Focus on the small things—words to live by!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Elizabeth...I think you're kinder than you give yourself credit for. We all have selfish tendencies, but the sheer fact that you want to change or have more of a loving heart shows your true character.
Thank you, Kristin. It's a good reminder for me to realize most of us are selfish sometimes, that it's not just me.
DeleteI've been beating myself up for all the things I haven't gotten done recently. This morning I pulled out a list I made Friday to check off all the things I'd completed--there were only four left on the list! I think we should make a list of all the things we HAVE done, rather than a list of all the things we need to do.
ReplyDeleteThat is an excellent idea, Stephanie!
DeleteI've beat myself up for the same thing. I'm not a nurturer. I'm a great listener if someone needs someone to talk to, but if they cry, I'm going to start squirming and plotting my escape.
ReplyDeleteI once had someone tell me I should've been present for someone as a shoulder to cry on, but like I said to them, that's not my role, that's not who I am. I can and will help in other ways.
DeleteThat's good advice for all of us. The little things count more than we know.
ReplyDeleteI think the trick is remembering that those small things really can make a difference, not only in the adding up but also just on their own.
DeleteGreat sentiment, Madeline. In my experience, you are a very kind person. I think the comparison game just eats us up inside.
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with being the best Madeline you can be!
Thank you, J H. That comparison game is a killer, isn't it?
DeleteYou seem pretty nice here on your blog, Madeline. That you're thinking about it shows you're trying. It's a wonderful feeling to give to others, but from lessons learned in the past, I am wary about giving to people who only know how to be takers.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cynthia. And you bring up an excellent point about giving to people who are "takers." I wonder sometimes if we get so caught up in trying to be nice that we fail to see when we're being taken advantage of, manipulated, etc.
ReplyDeleteEveryone has something that they are good at. You are so thoughtful with your posts and comments, I'm sure you have many small and large things you can do!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Noelle! I really appreciate that.
DeleteI've always believed its the small thoughtful things that show how much I care; and I admit, I wish more people returned the favor. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnna from Elements of Writing
I hear you. For me, it's often the small, thoughtful gestures, done as consistently as possible, that mean the most.
DeleteThat's right, focus on your strengths. I took the Strength Finders survey a while back, and it's helped me focus on improving what I do well instead of beating myself up over my failures. Which I'll do anyway, of course. Some of us are just wired that way. To the world, I may be Tigger; beneath the surface, I'm often Eeyore.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm often Eeyore, too. :)
DeleteI haven't heard of that Strength Finders survey. Might have to check that out.