IT TAKES COURAGE
TO GROW UP
AND
BECOME WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
(e. e. cummings)
Growing up, I was fortunate to have wonderful, traditional holiday gatherings full of food, family and fun. After I moved to Florida and then got married, my husband and I made a point to go up North every year to celebrate at least one of the usual winter holidays with family and friends. We did that for about 15 years. But when we bought our first house, we decided we wanted to do our own thing. Those first few years, when we didn't go up for holidays, were hard. We didn't want to disappoint or hurt anyone.
But my husband and I thought it was important for us to live our lives, including celebrating holidays, the way we want. And you know what? We love it. If we want to cook, we do. If we don't, we go out or order in. If we're totally Christmas-ed out by Christmas, we don't feel pressured to do everything, like decorate the entire house, etc. This past Thanksgiving, we ate our main meal at lunchtime then walked on the beach for awhile.
Some people might think it's weird or feel sorry for us but our holidays have become almost a symbol of how my husband and I want to live. Our views on a number of issues aren't always considered "the norm" or traditional, but we're growing more comfortable with that the older we get. We do try hard, though, to respect the way other people think and do things, and we just ask the same in return.
So, no matter how we spend the holidays, let's celebrate them with joyous spirits and grateful hearts. And let's live our lives the same way.
I certainly understand. I enjoyed spending Thanksgiving with my family, but I'll enjoy Christmas with just my wife just as much.
ReplyDeleteAppreciate the understanding, Alex. Glad to hear we're not alone. :)
DeleteI have friends who go on a week long vacation every year during Thanksgiving because it's near their anniversary and they had days off work. They've made their own tradition.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, I never heard of anyone doing anything like that, or going to the movies on the holidays, etc. There are so many amazing ways to live our lives!
DeleteOne year on Christmas Eve, when my husband had to work so we were not at my parent's house (the usual Christmas tradition), we had take out Chinese after he got home. And one year me and the kids went to a movie on Christmas Eve, again cause my husband was working. It was kind of fun to do something different, although I'm glad that most years that holiday is spent with our extended family.
ReplyDeleteI think every person and every family has to find what works for them - maybe that's more the traditional route, maybe it's something totally different, maybe it's shaking things up from time to time. We visit my extend family, and have them visit here, when there's not as much hoopla and expense and crowds, etc.
DeleteMy husband and I were from different places so we had some trouble until we decided to stay home. Hubby always griped about being 'away'. Now though, we are on the other side of the country. I don't miss Christmas as much because our family always had people 'with the other side of the family' at Christmas, but I really miss them at Thanksgiving. My family was the only one missing this year--my mom hosted 25. And it made me sad.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear you were sad, Hart. The holidays are often sad and stressful for so many people, for so many reasons.
DeleteI totally understand. I always have to go to at least three different places for every holiday, so it can get exhausting. It would be nice just to stay at home for once.
ReplyDeleteI remember those days - the flying, the driving, the crowds, the expense, etc. Not to mention the cold. Brrrrr!
DeleteIt's not how you "show" your spirit, it's how you live and share it. It seems you've found the way that works for you. I'd say you have the true holiday spirit.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! I appreciate that.
DeleteYour last sentence says it all.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Liza. I'm trying to practice that. :)
DeleteBeautiful post - I think that's the way we all should do it. We just decided we're doing Thanksgiving different next year. ;)
ReplyDeleteThank you! And I hope you enjoy your next Thanksgiving - however you celebrate it. :)
DeleteI must say, that sounds delightful. I host Christmas Eve each year for our family, and it becomes harder to accommodate everyone as they get older and have their own families. I do enjoy the togetherness, though, and these two holidays are the only time we're all in the same room, really. We do Christmas Eve so we can each do what we want on Christmas, which I like, and was something I pushed for.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you've found something that works for your family - excellent!
DeleteThe holidays should be joyful and stress-free, so I say you should enjoy them exactly the way you and your hubby want :)
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! When did the holidays become so stressful - financially, emotionally, generally - for so many of us?
DeleteMadeline, your words came at a good time. This is the first Christmas we will be spending without our children and assorted other guests. I was not looking forward to it, since we've always had a full house, but now I'm thinking I will look forward to it as a new and different experience we can make of what we will!
ReplyDeleteI think it's important to recognize that you'll miss the way it used to be, and that's totally okay! The trick is to not let that sadness or nostalgia, etc take away from whatever the present joy is/will be.
DeleteThis is an opportunity for you to maybe cut back on doing some of those holiday things you didn't really enjoy, that you tended to do more for other people. A lot of it is about perspective and positive thinking. :)
It's hard to imagine a better way to spend Thanksgiving than walking on the beach. I'm jealous! :D
ReplyDeleteI hope you and your husband (and Larry & Mrs. Larry~) have a wonderful holiday season.
Although the tortoises didn't walk on the beach with us, they did enjoy a rather Thanksgiving-like vegetable - squash! :)
DeleteI agree with you 100%,,Madeline. I love my family to pieces, but I'd much rather see them at random times during the year and skip the holiday gatherings, especially the ones that require travel. I love the idea of holidays at home with my husband and Katie Cat, plenty of time to watch football, movies, or read, and no big dinners to cook (and clean up after). We just do our own thing!
ReplyDelete