AND NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE
IN YOUR CAREER, WHETHER YOU'RE
PUBLISHED, UNPUBLISHED, OR
JUST STARTING OUT,
WALK THROUGH THE WORLD AS A WRITER.
THAT'S WHO YOU ARE, AND
THAT'S WHO YOU WANT TO BE, AND
DON'T TAKE ANY GUFF OFF ANYBODY.
(Anne Rice)
The majority of the people I know in "real life" are not all that interested in my writing. They rarely, if ever, check the blog. They might read one of my published stories...months after it's already been out. If I'm asked a question about my writing, it's not usually specific or a follow up to anything I had going on the last time we talked. And I'm pretty sure hardly any of them read or bought my flash fiction collection.
I'd be lying if I said all of that didn't bother me. It does.
BUT.
It bothers me a whole let less than it used to. Why? Because I've gotten much more comfortable in my writer's skin. I've gained some skills and some confidence in the craft. I have support and encouragement from people like my wonderful husband and all of you amazing people out there in the blogging community. Like the above quote says, I now "walk through the world as a writer."
Let's not "take any guff off anybody" this week - or ever! Be proud of going after dreams - whether they're writing-related or something else. Let's keep growing - in skills, in confidence, in strength, in passion.
Most of the people I know in the real world don't care that I'm an author. Never bothered me though, because I don't want the attention.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that I'd say it's so much about attention as it is about recognition and/or respect. Writing is a huge part of who I am, and when it's basically ignored or glossed over a lot of the time, it hurts.
DeleteGreat post. I think my online friends make up for the ones in real life who don't know what I do.
ReplyDeleteAren't our blogging buddies the best?! :)
DeleteLike Alex, most of the people I know in the real world don't know I'm a writer. But I don't tell them because I want to avoid the possibility of questions.
ReplyDeleteBut I do like Anne Rice's quote an awful lot, so maybe I'll consider changing that.
I think no matter how you handle it, what's crucial is that you're comfortable and confident.
DeleteMost of the people I know in "real" life don't care either. That's why I love all my kindred spirits in blogland!
ReplyDeleteI can't remember what we did about finding our folks before the Internet….
Delete(And yes, I am old enough to remember life before the Internet, and the fact that I can't actually recall what we did, well, that points to how old I am, too.) :)
I'm old enough, too. I hear ya. :)
DeleteI agree that it can be disappointing for non-writers not to be excited about your work. But like you said, the comfortable you are in your writer's skin, the less it bothers you. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI would've settled for interested, forget excited. :)
DeleteIt doesn't really work in real time, does it. If they ask at all, it is about something three projects ago that you have on a back burner. They ask about your book and you answer and realize they are talking about some OTHER book. It is very odd, this whole outing thing... I've been serially releasing a book and just because it has taken over my life, it just SEEMS like people ought to know, but they don't.
ReplyDeleteOh, believe me, I don't expect everyone to remember everything and ask about it! My expectations are more along the lines of the usual asking about people's lives and careers, etc.
DeleteThis is another example of why our blogging community is so close-knit :)
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! :)
DeleteSometimes those closest to you are the hardest to get involved. I understand the hesitation. If someone I knew and loved had written something I really thought atrocious, I wouldn't want the weight of having to tell them so or lie about. I think it takes about 4 times of someone hearing your writing is stellar from an outsider before they gain enough confidence to act. At least, that's been my experience.
ReplyDeleteInteresting perspective, Crystal! I think, for me, that it's more about making an effort. I know I can usually find something nice to say or find a nice way to say something not so nice. :)
DeleteAnd it support like that that makes this the best community to be a part of! No one can support you writing like a writer, so long as we surround ourselves with good people. we'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteIt really is a great community to be a part of! :)
DeleteTrue, I do get this a lot. I was thinking about it the other day when my mom told my brother to stop talking about his new business, because that was ALL he ever talked about, and I realized it's maybe just because this is my JOB, and I probably talk about it all the time. I don't know. Maybe that's just me making myself feel better, LOL. But I've got local writer friends and bloggie writer friends, and that helps a lot.
ReplyDeleteThe Warrior Muse
Part of the problem I found was that when I would talk about writing, I'd get "uh huh" or "that's nice" in response. That often left me feeling deflated.
DeleteYes, I must admit I'm a bit like Alex - I quite like the separation between real life and my writing friends. But it is a bit weird sometimes when there's all this writing stuff going on people don't mention...
ReplyDeleteI think that's the thing for me - it's such a huge part of my life and who I am that when it's not recognized or respected, etc, it feels like awful. But I've gotten much better at not letting it bother me so much though. :)
DeleteI guess I don't mind not being asked about it either. Now if I'd been published, I might feel a little differently. But now it's the excuses mode. Well, publishing is hard. It doesn't happen over night. No, I don't want to self publish. Everybody always knows someone who self publishes it seems, and don't understand the differences between that and traditional.
ReplyDeleteI once had someone ask me why I didn't just go hire an agent. Even as I tried to explain how it didn't quite work that way, I recognized - and appreciated - that she was making an effort to talk about my writing. :)
Delete